My reaction 99% of days.

How are we gonna have a baby with so many bills?


First Trimester Suprises

Here’s the thing. Your friends won’t tell you about first trimester symptoms, because this is the time the pregnancy is a secret. Sure once you read the baby books you learn about cramping, frequent urination, and morning sickness, etc. But you don’t really know what that means because no one has explained it to you! Only afterwards do you hear, “Oh yeah, that happened to me!” “Nope sure don’t miss that!” “It only gets worse!” (gee, thanks guys).

So here are some “Who Knew” symptom’s that I never knew about:

1) Burping: I feel like my Babcia.  I’m either always burping or needing to drink a coke to make myself burp. Apparently there is this lovely hormone called progesterone that makes you bloat, get gassy, and other enjoyable things during pregnancy.
2) Heartburn/Acid Reflux: Having never been privy to this feeling before I didn’t quite know how to explain this to Phil. From here to here I feel full (throat to stomach), but here I’m starving (stomach). Like the good husband he is, he ran to the store to buy me some Tums (one of the 4 medicines I can actually take) and it went away. I was recently made aware of an old wives tale that states if you have heartburn the baby will be born with hair. So naturally I assume the baby will look like this guy:

3. Feeling Full: I thought pregnancy was the time to enjoy all food related wonderful things. Nope. Not for me. I eat one thing and within 3 minutes I’m full. And then 2 hours later starving, but nothing seems appetizing. In fact, at a really fancy dinner on Saturday night, I ordered a kids order of Mac and Cheese because it’s the only thing that sounded filling, but not wasteful.
4. Exhaustion (we’ve talked about this): I feel like I’ve climbed Mt. Everest. But I can’t nap because my brain NEVER SHUTS OFF.

4) Frequent Urination due to a shifting bladder: Seriously, 3 times in the middle of the night, completely full bladders. I find this completely unnecessary, and also, no guy believes you. Because why would they? All they know is the same thing I knew before pregnancy which was women pee because a baby is on their bladder, and right now the baby is the size of a chickpea/lime/plum whatever, the point is it’s tiny and it’s not pushing on my bladder. Supposedly, it goes away second trimester, but third semester it comes back 10x worse. Like some dumb witches curse.
5) Headaches: Where did these come from? And why can I only take Tylenol?! Let me live!!
6) Dizzy Spells: Every time I get up from the couch/desk/bed to do anything, I have to grab on to the wall for dear life before I topple over. This too is related to progesterone. Really can’t wait for that hormone to leave my body.

7) Break outs. My face looks like a 16 year old boy. And I can’t stop picking at it. What happened to my beautiful, unharmed skin?

From what I’ve learned, the only cure for any of this is to take it slow, take your vitamins, drink water, eat small meals, wear lose fitting clothes, drink ginger ale, and pretty much act like you are on disability for 12 weeks!

That’s all that I can think of now. It hasn’t been a terrible first trimester for me because I haven’t had any morning sickness (Thank god!). Mostly I’m just tired, and little things pop up that make me go UGGGGGGHHHH.

Did you have any first trimester issues that were unexpected?


A quarter of the way through!

Well we’ve slowly started to let it leak out to the public that we (I) are (am) expanding. Except for Facebook. It has not made it’s way onto the bowels of social media.

Preface to this post: I am excited that we are having a baby, but I’m just not THERE yet. I’m not crying. I’m not over the moon. I’m just- I’m just existing. Yes, I am carrying a baby. Yes, a lot of changes are coming. But I’ve had friends tell me that they are crying they are so happy with the news ( huh? what? why?).

Or asking all of these questions, or forgetting that there is more to Phil and I than this baby. Like, we are going to the beach this weekend. Can we talk about that? Although, last night at my girlfriends house I made the comment that there is more to us than the baby, but even I couldn’t find anything else to talk about.

I tried out prenatal yoga class, which at first I was nervous about. I mean look at my pictures, I look the exact same. So in my head, I assumed women who were further along thought “who does this bitch think she is? She’s not pregnant.” But as the class went on, it turns out I was totally wrong. After our meditation period we sat in a circle introduced ourselves and how far along we are etc. When it was my turn, I was honest and said, I’m just not there on excitement level. I feel like I’m faking it a lot. And I think it has to do with the fact that this happened on our first try. We didn’t get a few months of it not working (which I am totally grateful for!). One of the women in the class said “It’s okay. I felt guilty too.” I think that’s what i’m feeling. I feel guilty that so many friends have tried so hard to have a baby and it was so easy for us, and here I am not feeling overjoyed. I get moments of being very excited (when I saw the sonogram) but then they pass. I’m definitely not feeling negative about the pregnancy, I’m just feeling, the same. Exactly the same, except I want a beer.

Last Wednesday we sent an email to our friends with the dog picture from the previous post. And before we got into the restaurant, I again COMMUNICATED with Phil my concerns. I remember him being REALLY funny and making me laugh and relaxing me. Telling me that it’s okay, and he will change the topic if anyone starts talking about it too long. So there was a lot of “Yes, we are really excited!” “Yes, unbelievable having a baby, so soon!” “We just got right to business, haha!”

It ended up being a really great time. Other pregnant ladies were there and a newly engaged couple was there (actually, we were there to celebrate the newly engaged couple, not US!).

I’m coming to terms with the fact that this is what everyone wants to talk about. I’m dealing with it on my own, in my own way. I can honestly say discussing my fears with Phil has been remarkable. Granted, I still have pregnancy PMS. For example, this was us making dinner last night:
“How do you not know what chunks are? Just cut them into chunks!”-Me
“How do you want the carrots?-Phil

Moving on–

It does help that we talk. He makes me laugh. We laugh so much about everything and all in all, I feel the next six months will be a breeze with him. Especially when he does super sweet things like bring me Ice Cream Sandwiches for my cravings.

10 Weeks 3 days. No physical Change.

How Far Along: 10 weeks and 3 days.
Size of Baby: Prune or a Kumquat or a Lime
Total Weight Gain: Zero, in fact I weighed myself at the gym and I lost a pound? Which does not make any sense when I think of the amount of sweets I’ve been eating.
Symptoms: Tired. Although that is going away. Peeing (like 4 times in a night). and Burping (Excuse me!)
Eats: I still can’t figure out if it’s pregnancy cravings or just random, I want nacho’s cravings. This week it’s been deserts. Although, I want a granny smith apple desperately.
Best moment of the week: The conversation with Phil pre-restaurant. It just solidified that he is my support system.
What I’m looking forward to: August 13th. That’s the next baby appointment, and I’ll be out of the first trimester.
Milestones: The baby has fingernails. And hair.


Nursery Ideas

The nursery has been a struggle  for me. In our 3 bedroom home, we have a mini-room upstairs that would be perfect for a nursery. It’s tiny! Enough space for a crib, dresser, rocker, and baby stuff. The downside is it’s the dogs room. If you know my dogs, you would understand why this is enough to start a zombie like fear in my heart.

The first three weeks of pregnancy caused me a lot of anxiety about dogs, space and furniture. I took the advice everyone told me pre-marriage: communication. I talked to Phil and told him my fears and then he reminded me why he is a genius. He said, “Why don’t we just have a guest room/nursery? We never have guests, and we are only going to be here for another year. This way we don’t have to disturb the dogs, or freak out about space.” THAT thought, never ONCE crossed my mind.

Here are some ideas I’ve pinned on Pinterest. Of course right now I’m looking at a gender neutral nursery. I think it will be cheaper, plus easier to sell the house when it comes time.

First up, because of the set up of the room, I’ve decided to set up the bed in front of the window to maximize space. Like this:

Bed Window
I can’t wait to start searching thrift stores/yard sales to find a bed frame.

I am pretty set on a white and gray nursery. I like this one because the crib and dresser won’t be the focal point of the room. I’m pretty sure that’s my biggest issue, I don’t want the room to look too nursery like. I am definitely doing the  stripes on the wall like this:

Here are some other ones that I found:

Gray and White
Pop of Color –I really like this one, would have to find a color that could be gender neutral.

All in all, I know I want white furniture. Does that make me the most uncreative person on the planet?

To find out the gender or not?

My whole life, well as long I have known that I had the potential to make a baby, I’ve known that I never wanted to find out the sex. My mom and dad didn’t find out with me, and when my sister and brother came along, they were also unknown. To me, there has always been something special about not finding out what you are having. Sure,  it makes it easier with the clothes and the decorating. It’s just, I can’t even articulate it, to me,  it’s the only time you can be 100% surprised.

Then about three months ago a friend of mine who is having a baby, responded to someone’s Facebook post regarding why don’t people wait anymore to find out the sex? And my friend had a very valid point. She said, “There are so many surprises on the day of the birth, what is the difference in finding out three months prior?”  It was the most profound statement I’ve ever heard. It made SO MUCH SENSE TO ME.

And then I got pregnant. And I then I couldn’t judge from an outsiders view anymore (which I am so good at doing). So the first few weeks, I wanted to know. Like Meredith said, what’s 3 months? And then everyone’s unsolicited advice came in. Like my whole family immediately saying “Boy!” “It’s a Boy!” “I hope it’s a Boy!” or people saying “You are such a planner Melissa, you would HAVE to find out, I bet you couldn’t.”

So stubborn me is now back to not finding out. Phil will find out, because he HAS to. But I think I can wait it out. I mean what’s  another 7 more months? I did some research to see what other people thought:

  • I like this girls reason of it drives people crazy.
  • The FIRST reason in this blog, is the exact reason I don’t want to find out. I’ll write another post on that later.
  • I also like this idea for the hospital room.

What about you? Did you wait? Did you find out? What are your reactions to finding out?

There’s officially a BB in there.

It’s official. There is a baby in my belly! Honestly, up until the minute before the gel was on my belly I was reassuring myself that even if something went wrong, we could try again. Or no big deal, at least we are sort of prepared for next time (please no comments from the peanut gallery, I get through life with morbid thoughts, it helps me cope).


So gel on the belly, weird plastic thing moving around and boom HEEELLLLLLOOOO baby. The mini, tiny, little arms were moving and legs were kicking or whatever it is they do at 9.5 weeks. And the technician zoomed in really close and there was the flutter of a heart beat. And that’s when I got excited.

Munchkin Face

Because it was real, and it wasn’t just a fluke my body thinks I’m pregnant but I’m not, and it was really happening. I didn’t cry, like boo hoo, but I did have tears and a big smile on my face. Phil didn’t come, so I am excited when I can watch his reaction. It might seem selfish, but, I’m glad I had that private moment. I didn’t have to feel like I had to act a certain way, I could just enjoy it for myself.

Additionally, I’ve had a HUGE breakthrough. I actually found nicknames that I like. The first one I came up with was porkchop. To fully appreciate porkchop, you have to say it out loud, like you are talking to a dog or a baby. Go on. Say “Hi little porkchop.” It’s perfect right?

Then later the baby was dubbed Baby Spice from the #spicegalz. Then later, the baby was dubbed BBWZL. (Baby Weasel)–because my nick name is WZL. And BBWZL. Get it? I know the last two resonate with no one but me, but Baby Spice has been sticking more than the others. (sorry Phil).

And finally. We haven’t broken the news on the internet and I’m not sure this counts as the internet with all 5 of you reading it, but as far as Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. I had been struggling with finding ideas on how to announce it. I liked this, and this one. But didn’t want to spend the I settled on this:

How long did you wait to tell people? Did you wait the whole first trimester? Were you nervous?

9 weeks along, and 3 posts behind.

It’s been exactly three weeks since I wrote! I’m awful. Or maybe I got really lazy. Well to catch everyone up on what I have been doing since then here’s a quick recap:

Just to prepare me for the surprise of motherhood, D got a huge gash in her leg. So I spent the week of 4th of July on a mini-vacation/work from home with her. Here are some pictures of the torture we put her through.

image_2 image_1

It has also rained nonstop in Richmond. As of the beginning of July, Richmond has received 26 inches year to date. Seattle only 16! Here is a picture of Hatteras being scared.

He does not like Thunder.

On 4th of July we went to ANOTHER party with our friends, where I was sneaking cream soda into my drinks as a fancy craft beer. Phil and I went to look at fireworks. Here is Baby T on Fourth of July.


Week 7 the baby was the size of a blueberry. Week 8 the baby was the size of a raspberry. I think I’m getting to the end of my time as comparing the size to my diamond. Maybe Hatteras will be next?


Here are some more pictures of my silly dogs who make me laugh:


What else did I do? I did some organizing; I packed up about 4 boxes of books and moved one bookshelf downstairs. Slowly nesting. I decided I would paint the upstairs in October. That way it won’t be so hot, but I will still be a functioning human.

Well, let this blog serve as a lesson not to wait so long to write.

On July 10th, we went to see the Dr. They took ten vials of blood! TEN! It still hasn’t been confirmed. They tried to hear a heartbeat but it was really early so they weren’t surprised they couldn’t hear anything, and told me not to worry.

Getting used to waiting around!

The best part? I finally told my best girlfriends. I couldn’t handle it anymore, having to hide drinking from them for so long has been awful—and also dumb, because I apparently I did a terrible job.

We have a joke that we have to do everything together always the same, so I pulled out straws for our frozen cocktails, except one was a different color than the others. My one friend noticed right away and said “You know we have to do everything the same, why is your straw orange and not blue??” and I said “Well, I have to be able to tell the difference in straws because, I’m pregnant!” One dropped jaw, a clap of hands, and one “I knew it” later and we were all laughing at how terrible I was at keeping it a secret.

Which, oh well, I guess I’m not good at keeping secrets. It’s such a relief to hang out with them now, not have to worry about why I’m not drinking and still have just as much fun. I am also happy that they know now because in case anything was to go wrong, they will be very supportive.

Phil told his friends, but I’m sure it went more like “yeah, so, we’re joining the club?” And then he probably shotgunned a beer or something totally awesome.

I will have more exciting news tomorrow, once I receive the ultrasound.