Knock on wood. She’s still alive. And I’m still alive. and the dogs are still alive.
This week was much easier than the previous two weeks because my mom was here. I didn’t have to think about cooking, or unloading the dishwasher, or loading the dishwasher, or laundry, or storage of food. And now that she’s left I feel like I’m back to square one.
It’s 4:30 pm and I just changed out of pajamas and into normal clothes. I keep looking at my hair and all I can see are inches of roots that are exposed. My make up game has seen better days.
I GET IT. I just had a baby, I’m not supposed to be concerned with these things, but..I’d like to at least put in an effort for my husband. I highly doubt he’s all “Oh hey lady with your breast milk stained shirt and same yoga pants since Monday, you’re looking GOOD.”
Trust me he isn’t.
This week I will tell you about the saga that is called Anna and Melissa and breastfeeding.
First of all, I guess this is what I get for having an easy pregnancy and a relatively easy labor. I get trouble with breastfeeding. And I know I’m not alone. I’ve literally searched hundreds upon hundreds of articles to prove that I’m not alone. I’ve talked to my girlfriends who confirm that I’m not alone. But I still look in the mirror and give myself the despair face.
1. There is no latching with Anna. Something about the way my boob is and the way her mouth is make it difficult. So right away the lactation consultant provided us with a Nipple Shield. I use the 24 mm and I highly recommend it to any one else who has this problem. Basically it is like a nipple, for your nipple. Anyway, it helps, it works, she’s gaining weight and feeding, and doing all the things that she is supposed to. Which great, but as a human, I sort of feel like “woe is me” because my boob doesn’t work.
2. I’ve tried weaning from the shield–just for my own pride and because certain nurses have made me feel like “I need to”. The left side she accepts about 55% of the time. Which is great and rewarding and I feel sort of like mission accomplished, but if I try to give the right side, Anna throws some serious shade my way. And she needs to eat, so I throw my pride out the window and shield it up.
3. I’m trying to do this whole parent directed feeding thing. I think it’s working. I mean it follows the basic guidelines of feed the baby every 2.5-3 hours. She should eat about 15 minutes on each side per feeding, with some burping in the middle. It’s working-of all the things I am doing this at least is one of them. Except for the 15 minutes per side. I would say we are a solid 12 minutes one side, and 9 minutes on the other. And she’s full after each feeding-but I internally have panics because WHY AREN’T YOU EATING FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES ON EACH SIDE? Are you starving yourself? (no she is not).
4. Last night she slept for four hours straight. I skipped a feeding. Am I the worst mother in the world?
5. At 3.5 weeks, according to BabyWise, I’m supposed to go to a “structure” of morning feedings and night time feedings to help with a night time merge. However, I think I am going to skip this step (insert hands over mouth). My only reason for skipping this one, is because she already does one night time feeding. TYPICALLY, her last feeding is at about 10:30-11:00 pm. Then she wakes up at 2:00 or 3:00 am. Then her next feeding is morning time feeding. I don’t really think setting a 7 am wake up call is necessary at this point. However, according to the same book, at 6-8 weeks I get to skip the middle of the night feeding all together (praise Allah). So she will be fed at 11:00 p.m. and then fed at 6:30ish am. This is something I THINK we can handle. FINGERS CROSSED.
Overall, she’s really predictable and easy. She gets fussy about 8-9pm, which is pretty common with babies. She has the hiccups a lot. She sneezes a lot. She grunts a lot. She smiles a lot (unrelated to gas). So she’s cool. The feeding thing is more me, my head, why can’t we be like a normal mom and daughter Anna?
But nothing is normal now is it?