Is it pregnancy or 34 years old?

The following statement I am screaming from the mountaintop: SECOND PREGNANCY IS AWFUL COMPARED TO YOUR FIRST. I’ve done exhaustive research (Twitter, friends, and some random blogs). And everyone says, “Oh yes, my second pregnancy was so much worse than my first one.” Well, why didn’t you warn us instead of letting us go into this blind? A little preparation goes a long way. Side-eye to all of you so called “friends”.

I’m officially boot free! I am supposed to go to physical therapy because something is going on in my ankle and we need to fix that problem. But–I’m walking like a normal human being again. The next ailment I am faced with is pregnancy induced TMJ. I think? We aren’t entirely sure. And we don’t have dental insurance this year because someone didn’t think it was important….more side-eyes. I’ve started sleeping with a mouth guard.

If you wanted to know what a full fledge nerd looked like, look no further than me. Saline squirts in my nose before bed, thick black rimmed glasses, and a mouth guard. Point me in the direction to the closest locker and I’ll just shove myself in it.

Part of me thinks I can’t believe how far along I am, but the other part of me is like, OMG WE HAVE FOUR MORE MONTHS WHY IS THIS TAKING FOREVER. What other ailments will come my way? I’m hoping none. But, ha. Come on now.

And while I would LOVE to blame this all on pregnancy, what if it’s just because I’m getting older? And my body is all  “WHOA. I am tired. Can we just take a break? If you don’t slow down, Imma slow you down myself.”

Where’s my fainting couch? I’m too young to feel this old.

In other news, we interviewed our doula this Sunday and we really like her (much better than the one we had before). She seems like the type of doula I want to be. Present, but not to present, acts as a couch for the husband, and respects what I want during birth. So, at least we can check something off our list.

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How Far Along: 22 weeks
Size of Baby: Ear of Corn/American Guinea Pig/Water Bottle
Total Weight Gain: 13 lbs. No gain since last week. Even if I did eat 2 boxes of girl scout cookies all by myself.
Movement: I think the baby is using my ribs as the monkey bars.
Status of my Belly: Well, we are at the point where people don’t ask if I am pregnant, they just say congratulations.
Doctor’s Appointments: Next Friday.

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