Oh, now you’re pregnant.

Finally..I promised a book review a thousand posts ago and I shall deliver.

So. You peed on a stick. You’re pregnant. It’s been confirmed. If you are like me, you panicked. Like, hardcore, I have a test tomorrow (7 months) that I haven’t studied for and I need to know everything that’s supposed happen to me in the next seven months RIGHT NOW. There are thousands of books and blogs out there. And I’ve read a ton of blogs, but I come from a generation that needs books. Actual, books with a spine and pages that you earmark, and highlight and underline and reference. These could not be bought on a Kindle. I promptly ordered two books from Amazon, and sped to my nearest Barnes and Noble to gather the other books my best gals recommended. This post will focus on the category, “What’s going on with me right now?”

The most famous of these books is What to Expect When you are Expecting.  If you are a hypochondriac like me, this is possible the worst book for you. It’s mostly a book about everything that could go wrong. Which would have me on the phone with my doctor every single day. So. No.

Another book that was highly recommended was The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy.  Upon reviews, I thought this was going to be a great book. It was exactly what I wanted. A book that was no frills, pregnancy kinda sucks, here’s what to expect: You’re going to gain weight, you’re going to have gas, and some good things will happen as well. I thought it was exactly what I wanted, straight forward, here’s what’s up. That was until I went to the store to buy it, picked it up off the shelve and the first page I turned to said “Go ahead and cancel your gym membership now, no one has time to work out.” To which I thought–if that’s the advice you’re doling out–no thank you.

So the book that I settled on, and I highly recommend is The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Health Pregnancy

It includes week by week updates, what to do before you’re pregnant, what happens during labor, and what to expect during the first few months. It is extremely straightforward and does not give scary panicky information. It does tell you when you should be worried, but it also tells you what you need to look for to be really worried. It’s extremely accurate on the week by week updates (As soon as I picked it up for the 20 week mark it was all “you should be feeling round ligament pain by now”, accurate. I was). It’s also not a book that you need to read cover to cover. You can read it at your pace. You can choose to read a lot at first (which is what I DID), or you can read it week by week. Or if you want you can read it cover to cover and then re read it when necessary.

It includes exercises to do every month, what tests you should be prepared for, and fun facts. It’s very matter of fact, without being “yawn” and it’s not too casual to make you question if it’s serious.  It includes meal planning, appropriate medicine to take, and updates on how you’re baby is growing, what’s developing, all that good stuff. The best thing about the book is that it’s all written by Doctors who are parents too. So, it’s a little comforting knowing that it’s sound medical advice.

The reason I liked it the most was because I found it informative, I could educate myself without turning to Google–which would indirectly lead me to some dumb message boards with people giving dumb advice (which are all just call your Doctor, you should be worried),  it was easy to read, and it was broken up section by section.

All in all–if you’re pregnant, I definitely suggest buying this book. Or buying it for a friend. I would stay away from the first book I mentioned. You don’t want to scare yourself when you find out you’re pregnant. You want to inform yourself. (and slightly freak out because OH MY GOD YOU’RE HAVING A BABY!)

Things not to say to Pregnant Women

First, let’s clarify,  I’ve 100% said these things to other women. But I sure wish someone had written a blog, or a magazine article, or heck just said it out loud–because whether these questions are coming from complete strangers, or friends, it’s annoying. There is more to pregnant women than what’s growing in their uterus. Most of us have jobs, most of us have other stresses, most of us did watch the latest episode of The Vampire Diaries. Some of us are interested in knowing who is playing Christian Grey now that the other dude is out. And some of us, are actually concerned with the government shutdown. Sure, I have moments through out the day that I talk about the baby..but when we talked before I was pregnant,  you didn’t always talk about the baby.

So here is my list **these are also statements other pregnant woman have mentioned as bothersome, so they are not all directly things that have been said to me. mostly 1 and 2 pertain to me .***

1) How are you feeling?–This could just pertain to me because I don’t have anything to say. I don’t belong to the women who hate pregnancy club, because pregnancy has been really easy. So all I can say is “Great! Thanks for asking.” Which, I feel like leaves people wanting more “Any morning sickness? indigestion? something?..anything? come on, every woman complains”..and then there’s me. No. I’m good. I just complain because my clothes don’t fit and we don’t have any money. But those aren’t things I actually want to discuss with you. Unless I bring it up.

2) Are you excited?–Listen. The only acceptable answer here is yes. And if I say yes, then what’s the rest of the conversation. If you asked me if I was excited that college basketball was only a few weeks away, then I’d say yes. The questions is really the worst coming from strangers. I don’t know you, and I’m not going to beam you a smile and say “Oh yes, what a blessing!’

Basically, this question is really a way to hide what you are trying to ask which is:

3) Did you plan it?–Regardless if someone planned it or not, DON’T ASK. They may have been planning it for a long time and it took 3 years (those people are probably very interested in answering questions 1 and 2), but they don’t want to talk to you about their possible fertility problems. Or, complete opposite,  what if it was a mistake? That just makes everyone uncomfortable. And lastly, maybe it was like us..basically planned, basically happened as it should, so we don’t have anything to really talk about. Yes. We decided to try. Yes it worked.

4) Are you sure you’re not expecting twins?-Just, no. Don’t. Stop. Do I need to explain this one?

5) Not a question, but a statement: You don’t look that big!–What is THAT BIG? In who’s mind? I know I’m still skinny as a rail with a belly, but you know who feels like she looks THAT BIG–me. The fact that none of my pants fit me, I feel that big. And I don’t want to talk about it.

Questions that are acceptable to ask:

6) When are you due?–It’s a basic question and leaves room for other conversational pieces. (Just in time for March Madness!)

7) Do you know what you’re having?–I’ve seen this varied. Some people really hate it, other people don’t mind. I don’t really care. I just say we will find out in February!

Questions that I’m on the fence about:

8) Do you plan to breastfeed?–Actually, no. Move this up to questions you don’t ask. People are allowed to do whatever they want. If they want to know the benefits they can find them. This is my worst, 6 years ago, not being a mom, if you told me you weren’t going to breastfeed–I soapboxed the shit out of you. But now, upon reading..and maturing..basically, everyone’s entitled to their own thing. People in France don’t breastfeed. Yes it’s good. Yes I’m going to do it. But don’t judge someone else.

9) Have you started decorating?-I haven’t. So I don’t have anything to talk about. I would judge this by the person. I have some pregnant friends who LOVE decorating. I’m sure they are looking at samples as we speak. I wish I could get into decorating. I can get into painting. and Vacuuming. But not decorating.

10) Have you found childcare?-Again on the fence. I haven’t. Because it’s so expensive. Because I don’t know where to look. Actually, I think this is fine. It could add fuel to get me started.

Also–let’s face it. I’m so particular, I think the reason I don’t like people asking these questions is because I don’t actually feel like they are listening to me after they ask the question. They are either waiting for me to finish because they have already formulated their next thought, or they heard one part of what I’ve said and want to focus on that and only that (looking at you husband). Or all the questions they ask have expected outcomes. Personally, I think it’s okay not to be bursting at the seams every five minutes over the baby. It will get here when it gets here. And everything will fall into place.

For now, let me watch Vampire Diaries.

Updated: See, I’m not alone!! My friend Heather, who’s husband is in residency felt the same pains as I did. Read here and here.

Not sure if I’m 11 or 12 weeks..

Math is really hard.

As a product of Gen Y/Gen X the phrase “there’s an app for that” is usually not far from my lips. So of course I have 5-6 pregnancy apps. I actually have an entire folder dedicated to pregnancy apps. I already have a contraction app. I know I need to slow.down. I have the Baby Center (3 out of 5 stars IMO), Period Tracker (how I found out I was pregnant), Pregnancy (My favorite), and a ton of other ones. In fact when looking for the apps, I found MORE that I wanted to download :/

So I’ve been using them since I found out I was pregnant, and I’m 99% sure I was following them correctly and entered everything correctly, until I looked more closely at one today, and it said I was 12 weeks. So now, I don’t really know how far along I am, but I might be out of the first trimester?

Like I said Math is hard.

I will say it’s amazing a difference a week makes. Last week at this time I was not at all excited. In fact, I was more like eh, let’s switch the topic to anything other than my pregnancy. But then at the beach with my pregnant, post pregnant, trying to get pregnant girlfriends, I realized it’s okay to get excited. It is a big deal. (This isn’t a free for all, “Let’s talk about baby and only baby”, but it’s more of a I won’t avoid the topic if it comes up as much as I use to).

On Sunday, Arielle came over and sketched out the nursery. She’s so talented! It is getting me very excited to start painting and decorating. This isn’t the set up, well I think the bed and the crib are in the right place, but I’m very excited for the other images. I’ll save those for a surprise!

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We’ve received/bought a number of books for preparing for baby. Just as every set of new parents to be ultimately does, I’m sure. Well learned that we need to save $6,500 for the first year alone!

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I found these helpful tips: Save Money for BB

Side note: Please tell me how in six weeks we can save 15% of that total, but I can’t pay off a credit card?! Where is the logic! If my credit cards were paid off right now, we could EASILY have that much money in the bank by January. Easily. But no. I had too much fun in my 20’s so that’s where all my low paying no money paychecks went.

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There’s finally a little pudge.

How Far Along: I don’t know anymore 😦 I guess we will go with 11 weeks to stay on track.
Size of Baby: Plum
Total Weight Gain: Well, I finally fixed my scale. I’ve gained .5 lbs. I’m right on track for first trimester.
Symptoms: Tired, still. Headaches have come, patience is gone. (but I’m pretty sure that never existed).
Eats: No cravings, I just don’t really like big meals. Mac and Cheese was a positive. Today I broke up my meals into bite size every few hours and that managed to help.
Best moment of the week: Sitting on the beach. Finally.
What I’m looking forward to: August 13th. Sleeping in this weekend, and visiting some of my best girlfriends from high school on Saturday.
Milestones: I think Baby Spice has bones, hiccups and is doing somersaults (even though I can’t feel them).

First Trimester Suprises

Here’s the thing. Your friends won’t tell you about first trimester symptoms, because this is the time the pregnancy is a secret. Sure once you read the baby books you learn about cramping, frequent urination, and morning sickness, etc. But you don’t really know what that means because no one has explained it to you! Only afterwards do you hear, “Oh yeah, that happened to me!” “Nope sure don’t miss that!” “It only gets worse!” (gee, thanks guys).

So here are some “Who Knew” symptom’s that I never knew about:

1) Burping: I feel like my Babcia.  I’m either always burping or needing to drink a coke to make myself burp. Apparently there is this lovely hormone called progesterone that makes you bloat, get gassy, and other enjoyable things during pregnancy.
2) Heartburn/Acid Reflux: Having never been privy to this feeling before I didn’t quite know how to explain this to Phil. From here to here I feel full (throat to stomach), but here I’m starving (stomach). Like the good husband he is, he ran to the store to buy me some Tums (one of the 4 medicines I can actually take) and it went away. I was recently made aware of an old wives tale that states if you have heartburn the baby will be born with hair. So naturally I assume the baby will look like this guy:

3. Feeling Full: I thought pregnancy was the time to enjoy all food related wonderful things. Nope. Not for me. I eat one thing and within 3 minutes I’m full. And then 2 hours later starving, but nothing seems appetizing. In fact, at a really fancy dinner on Saturday night, I ordered a kids order of Mac and Cheese because it’s the only thing that sounded filling, but not wasteful.
4. Exhaustion (we’ve talked about this): I feel like I’ve climbed Mt. Everest. But I can’t nap because my brain NEVER SHUTS OFF.

4) Frequent Urination due to a shifting bladder: Seriously, 3 times in the middle of the night, completely full bladders. I find this completely unnecessary, and also, no guy believes you. Because why would they? All they know is the same thing I knew before pregnancy which was women pee because a baby is on their bladder, and right now the baby is the size of a chickpea/lime/plum whatever, the point is it’s tiny and it’s not pushing on my bladder. Supposedly, it goes away second trimester, but third semester it comes back 10x worse. Like some dumb witches curse.
5) Headaches: Where did these come from? And why can I only take Tylenol?! Let me live!!
6) Dizzy Spells: Every time I get up from the couch/desk/bed to do anything, I have to grab on to the wall for dear life before I topple over. This too is related to progesterone. Really can’t wait for that hormone to leave my body.

7) Break outs. My face looks like a 16 year old boy. And I can’t stop picking at it. What happened to my beautiful, unharmed skin?

From what I’ve learned, the only cure for any of this is to take it slow, take your vitamins, drink water, eat small meals, wear lose fitting clothes, drink ginger ale, and pretty much act like you are on disability for 12 weeks!

That’s all that I can think of now. It hasn’t been a terrible first trimester for me because I haven’t had any morning sickness (Thank god!). Mostly I’m just tired, and little things pop up that make me go UGGGGGGHHHH.

Did you have any first trimester issues that were unexpected?

 

A quarter of the way through!

Well we’ve slowly started to let it leak out to the public that we (I) are (am) expanding. Except for Facebook. It has not made it’s way onto the bowels of social media.

Preface to this post: I am excited that we are having a baby, but I’m just not THERE yet. I’m not crying. I’m not over the moon. I’m just- I’m just existing. Yes, I am carrying a baby. Yes, a lot of changes are coming. But I’ve had friends tell me that they are crying they are so happy with the news ( huh? what? why?).

Or asking all of these questions, or forgetting that there is more to Phil and I than this baby. Like, we are going to the beach this weekend. Can we talk about that? Although, last night at my girlfriends house I made the comment that there is more to us than the baby, but even I couldn’t find anything else to talk about.

I tried out prenatal yoga class, which at first I was nervous about. I mean look at my pictures, I look the exact same. So in my head, I assumed women who were further along thought “who does this bitch think she is? She’s not pregnant.” But as the class went on, it turns out I was totally wrong. After our meditation period we sat in a circle introduced ourselves and how far along we are etc. When it was my turn, I was honest and said, I’m just not there on excitement level. I feel like I’m faking it a lot. And I think it has to do with the fact that this happened on our first try. We didn’t get a few months of it not working (which I am totally grateful for!). One of the women in the class said “It’s okay. I felt guilty too.” I think that’s what i’m feeling. I feel guilty that so many friends have tried so hard to have a baby and it was so easy for us, and here I am not feeling overjoyed. I get moments of being very excited (when I saw the sonogram) but then they pass. I’m definitely not feeling negative about the pregnancy, I’m just feeling, the same. Exactly the same, except I want a beer.

Last Wednesday we sent an email to our friends with the dog picture from the previous post. And before we got into the restaurant, I again COMMUNICATED with Phil my concerns. I remember him being REALLY funny and making me laugh and relaxing me. Telling me that it’s okay, and he will change the topic if anyone starts talking about it too long. So there was a lot of “Yes, we are really excited!” “Yes, unbelievable having a baby, so soon!” “We just got right to business, haha!”

It ended up being a really great time. Other pregnant ladies were there and a newly engaged couple was there (actually, we were there to celebrate the newly engaged couple, not US!).

I’m coming to terms with the fact that this is what everyone wants to talk about. I’m dealing with it on my own, in my own way. I can honestly say discussing my fears with Phil has been remarkable. Granted, I still have pregnancy PMS. For example, this was us making dinner last night:
“How do you not know what chunks are? Just cut them into chunks!”-Me
“How do you want the carrots?-Phil
“WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT CHUNKS? ALL OF THE VEGETABLES JUST NEED TO BE CHOPPED UP!!-Me

Moving on–

It does help that we talk. He makes me laugh. We laugh so much about everything and all in all, I feel the next six months will be a breeze with him. Especially when he does super sweet things like bring me Ice Cream Sandwiches for my cravings.

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10 Weeks 3 days. No physical Change.

How Far Along: 10 weeks and 3 days.
Size of Baby: Prune or a Kumquat or a Lime
Total Weight Gain: Zero, in fact I weighed myself at the gym and I lost a pound? Which does not make any sense when I think of the amount of sweets I’ve been eating.
Symptoms: Tired. Although that is going away. Peeing (like 4 times in a night). and Burping (Excuse me!)
Eats: I still can’t figure out if it’s pregnancy cravings or just random, I want nacho’s cravings. This week it’s been deserts. Although, I want a granny smith apple desperately.
Best moment of the week: The conversation with Phil pre-restaurant. It just solidified that he is my support system.
What I’m looking forward to: August 13th. That’s the next baby appointment, and I’ll be out of the first trimester.
Milestones: The baby has fingernails. And hair.

 

There’s officially a BB in there.

It’s official. There is a baby in my belly! Honestly, up until the minute before the gel was on my belly I was reassuring myself that even if something went wrong, we could try again. Or no big deal, at least we are sort of prepared for next time (please no comments from the peanut gallery, I get through life with morbid thoughts, it helps me cope).

N-E-WAYS.

So gel on the belly, weird plastic thing moving around and boom HEEELLLLLLOOOO baby. The mini, tiny, little arms were moving and legs were kicking or whatever it is they do at 9.5 weeks. And the technician zoomed in really close and there was the flutter of a heart beat. And that’s when I got excited.

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Munchkin Face

Because it was real, and it wasn’t just a fluke my body thinks I’m pregnant but I’m not, and it was really happening. I didn’t cry, like boo hoo, but I did have tears and a big smile on my face. Phil didn’t come, so I am excited when I can watch his reaction. It might seem selfish, but, I’m glad I had that private moment. I didn’t have to feel like I had to act a certain way, I could just enjoy it for myself.

Additionally, I’ve had a HUGE breakthrough. I actually found nicknames that I like. The first one I came up with was porkchop. To fully appreciate porkchop, you have to say it out loud, like you are talking to a dog or a baby. Go on. Say “Hi little porkchop.” It’s perfect right?

Then later the baby was dubbed Baby Spice from the #spicegalz. Then later, the baby was dubbed BBWZL. (Baby Weasel)–because my nick name is WZL. And BBWZL. Get it? I know the last two resonate with no one but me, but Baby Spice has been sticking more than the others. (sorry Phil).

And finally. We haven’t broken the news on the internet and I’m not sure this counts as the internet with all 5 of you reading it, but as far as Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. I had been struggling with finding ideas on how to announce it. I liked this, and this one. But didn’t want to spend the money..so I settled on this:

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How long did you wait to tell people? Did you wait the whole first trimester? Were you nervous?

9 weeks along, and 3 posts behind.

It’s been exactly three weeks since I wrote! I’m awful. Or maybe I got really lazy. Well to catch everyone up on what I have been doing since then here’s a quick recap:

Just to prepare me for the surprise of motherhood, D got a huge gash in her leg. So I spent the week of 4th of July on a mini-vacation/work from home with her. Here are some pictures of the torture we put her through.

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It has also rained nonstop in Richmond. As of the beginning of July, Richmond has received 26 inches year to date. Seattle only 16! Here is a picture of Hatteras being scared.

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He does not like Thunder.

On 4th of July we went to ANOTHER party with our friends, where I was sneaking cream soda into my drinks as a fancy craft beer. Phil and I went to look at fireworks. Here is Baby T on Fourth of July.

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Week 7 the baby was the size of a blueberry. Week 8 the baby was the size of a raspberry. I think I’m getting to the end of my time as comparing the size to my diamond. Maybe Hatteras will be next?

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Here are some more pictures of my silly dogs who make me laugh:

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What else did I do? I did some organizing; I packed up about 4 boxes of books and moved one bookshelf downstairs. Slowly nesting. I decided I would paint the upstairs in October. That way it won’t be so hot, but I will still be a functioning human.

Well, let this blog serve as a lesson not to wait so long to write.

On July 10th, we went to see the Dr. They took ten vials of blood! TEN! It still hasn’t been confirmed. They tried to hear a heartbeat but it was really early so they weren’t surprised they couldn’t hear anything, and told me not to worry.

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Getting used to waiting around!

The best part? I finally told my best girlfriends. I couldn’t handle it anymore, having to hide drinking from them for so long has been awful—and also dumb, because I apparently I did a terrible job.

We have a joke that we have to do everything together always the same, so I pulled out straws for our frozen cocktails, except one was a different color than the others. My one friend noticed right away and said “You know we have to do everything the same, why is your straw orange and not blue??” and I said “Well, I have to be able to tell the difference in straws because, I’m pregnant!” One dropped jaw, a clap of hands, and one “I knew it” later and we were all laughing at how terrible I was at keeping it a secret.

Which, oh well, I guess I’m not good at keeping secrets. It’s such a relief to hang out with them now, not have to worry about why I’m not drinking and still have just as much fun. I am also happy that they know now because in case anything was to go wrong, they will be very supportive.

Phil told his friends, but I’m sure it went more like “yeah, so, we’re joining the club?” And then he probably shotgunned a beer or something totally awesome.

I will have more exciting news tomorrow, once I receive the ultrasound.